They ,Them, 2 V's and a Wedge...sounds erotic huh?

Hey peeps. 

OK. I cannot make this stuff up. Well...I guess I could, BUT I didn't.

I think stress brings on crazy dreams. Has anyone else ever experienced this? 

So, I had a dream and it was of course about these children I have. My youngest daughter that is. 

My youngest of course NOW uses pronouns such as They/Them. Never bothered her or ever crossed her mind for it to bother her up until she got with this current "partner".

When my youngest and I were living in Hawaii, she had encounters that we have had so much fun over and laughed about, like literally belly laughed at for many weeks after. Once we were at a drive through at a Jack-In-The-Box and the attendee at the drive thru told her "You should know your mom is always right sir!" I looked at Ash and she looked at me and we busted out laughing! 

Another time, we were in a restaurant and she was coming out of the restroom and a lady was going in. The lady stops, looks at her and turns to check its the ladys room before she continued on in. Ashley came to the table laughing and told me what had happened and we both had a good laugh with that one.

I tell you these things not to insult my child. Because to know her is to love her! No matter how she choses to dress or look. If it suites her, it suites me just fine.

I tell you because at one time she fully understood she was NO victim to her own making. She knew it was different but it fit for who she wanted to be and she was ready to face those facts head on with humor and dignity for others to feel and think the way they wanted too. Because we are all out here trying to love and be loved and THIS is what made people love Ash so much.  She is so endearing you have no choice but to love her when you first meet her. Just ask all the friends she made in Hawaii.

She does not allow, NOR SHOULD SHE OR ANYONE ELSE, let others judge her without knowing her. This is why Ashley being gay has never bothered me. Because she is such a well loved, well nurtured, even headed young woman. Or was. I am unsure who she is anymore. Today, I do not recognize her truthfully! 

She has never used these pronouns and found them a little sus. 

But I am now understanding the meaning in full. They/Them means they CANNOT work as an individual at all, ever. Regardless of parents worries, friends concerns or anything else that warrents caution towards the "new person" "partner" involved with our kids. 

The 2 V's, they stand for Victimize and Villafy. These have to be used intermittenly in order to gain full control over the others way of life up to that point. So that they become the only two in the circle of They/Them. No one else matters. And certainly not the parents! 

The person/partner has now taken over the persons life. They have WEDGED themselves into every relationship the other person has ever built in her entire life. She has villified all who have loved Ash throughout her life. She has victimized Ashley into thinking we have kept her surpressed, depressed, and making her an alcholic. She has convinced Ash we are her enemys. And nothing was ever for her own good. Nothing was of her own making.

Guys, this "partner" comes from Michigan. She meets Ash online, via gaming and mutual friends. She is very intuitive. Like she knew, spotted Ash, probably miles away. Ashley has always been a follower. She doesn't lead. She isn't meek. She just chooses not to be confrontaional if she can help it. She has always, as an adult, been able to express herself and be heard. No one in the family has treated her any different regardless becasue these choices were hers as an adult. I have advocated for her as I have for each of my kiddos. 

But this "partner" after 2 weeks of knowing Ashley online, visits here. She stirs up some shit with Ashleys best friends at that time. She wedged herself in-between Ashley and the friends. Until Ashley has no friends, or at the least, limited association with them. 

She systematically does things and monopolizes Ashley's time by staying on the phone with Ashley hours and hours at a time. To the point where Ashley works, comes home, and sits in her house on the phone with this chic. She doesn't go out. She does nothing as she use to do. 

Within 3 weeks of that first meeting, the "partner" has found a local house to rent and moves here from Michigan lock, stock, and barrel. She says things that are stupid like, "Imma knock this bitch up" "she aint going no where" "Imma keep her barefoot and pregnant", haha, and laughs about it, only it's no laughing matter when you realize she really thinks she can do this. That's when I realize theres an issue, but whatever. I don't say anything. Aint my issue. I don't live with her. She is Ashley's issue. 

Only she is not. 

Ashley no longer does anything without this chic. She hardly visits. She doesn't spend any time with any of us any longer. And all the issues are everyone else's issues. Not theirs. So, ok. I'm ok with that because there is truth there rather I like it or not. Their relatinship is just that! And it is new and exciting for them and I am happy as long as Ashley is happy. 

Only, we are seeing more and more we don't like. Systematically! 

Ashley has always treated me like a friend. Always. She is just as honest with me as I have always been to her. 

First time we get invited over for dinner, its Mexican, and I do not eat Mexican, so I opt out and just sit and drink my tea and chat. It is only Mike, myself, Ash, the partner, and Patty, my mom in law, Ashleys grandmother.

Second time, we are invited over to a cookout and we are all having fun and eating ribs and burgers. Nothing unusal except its strained because Alyssa and Blake came. And after the shit the partner "stirred" up in the first meeting, Alyssa and Ash have not spoken and do not engage in any conversation that the "partner" isn't fully aware of and/or involved in. The partner says mean and nasty things about Alyssa at this event, behind her back. I ignore and will not play into this.

Third time we are invited over and it is Ash's other side of the family, meaning her Bio-mom and step dad as well. The partner and Ash go out of the way to get the bio-mom food because she doesn't eat Mexican either. No one called to ask me if I wanted anything different knowing full well I do not eat Mexican either. I saw this for what it was, another WEDGE. To let me know my place I suppose after not laughing at the jokes the partner said about Alyssa at the last BBQ. 

When I say systematic...it is VERY systematic. 

So I do not go to anymore invites nor will I. They have called and asked many times, and only Mike goes now. I will only be treated bad once. After that, I'm done. So that is where I am. And it is my decision so I am ok with it.

After the beach debacal, I have tried to contact everyone and make peace for myself. To make sure they are ok. To maybe reach a resolution. 

My eldest son reached out and we chatted it out almost immediately. He was misinformed on several issues and lied to on others. So we are in a good spot now. 

Youngest son and his girlfriend, well, lets just say he had my back, but he is not confrontational either, so he silently sat in the back ground. The girlfriend, well lets just say with friend's like that, we dont need enemy's. I am sure she has her own set of issues and we can resolve this when she too is ready. 

Mason is not ready and she has said that to me, so no worries. I'll check back later. She has to accept her part and responsibility in everything that happened. And for her, I am sure she is telling everyone she is not thinking about it at all and don't care. But I know different. 

Ashley, she did call me, but only after I sent her a warrent of debt she owed to me. You see, she got a DUI in NC few years back and she asked me for money to help her secure an attorney, which I did. She said she would repay me, which she never did. And you can cut off your parents, but in doing so, your repayments/debts come due. So I sent her a certified letter stating I would take her to court unless she called me. 

The partners SYSTEMATIC influence has now encompassed Ashleys life. 

Ashley called me to rectify this issue for herself SOLELY! I was hoping for her to ask me how I was. But I saw real fast it wasn't about me. It wasn't even about a resolution. It was about the arguement! After 45 minutes of back and forth and crying and getting upset, I realized she will never see my side as long as she is in that relationship. She says she is her own person, but we see otherwise! So I forgave her the debt, and I told her I would be here when she was ready to take accountability for her part in all that happened as well. I apologized like 10 times that night on the phone and asked how we move forward, yet I got no legit response. At that time, I was ok with all that becasue I had done all I can do with my daughter! And the ball was in her court. Where it still sits. 

Yet 2 weeks later... the hubs gets a text from the "partner" asking for us to have a sit down and talk about everything because she is concerned about where Ashley is mentally and feels it is in Ashley's interest to do this. I politely tell hubs to do whatever he wants but that I will not go through the partner to talk too or about my daughter. I will wait until she herself reaches out. That's all I said. 

But then I get an email. And guys...I'm putting it here for all to see and read. Because I will not be a victim in this! Nor will I be the villan! And when I say this person is just a nasty person, I fully mean it!

Read, let me know your thoughts if you have any. If I am wrong, please, tell me where you think I am wrong so I too can understand. Because at this point, I don't understand this chap. A 23 year old that has infiltrated my daughters life and telling me I can not talk to my daughter unless I work things out with her first! And if this is the case, well I guess that is it!     

BUT... the partner can only have but so much leverage until you have to start to look at Ashley. She is wrong in this as well. She and the partner both should stop looking to blame and start looking at what they started. No one asked them to take lead on MY vacation. But somehow this chic thought she could. But I'll be telling that story very soon. So stay tuned! It's a lot to unpack and to be fair about!

Anyways, thank you all for taking the time to listen to my airings of this dirty laundry! It helps me and I love hearing not just confirmations on my behalf, but understanding maybe more of their side perhaps. Because I'm at a loss! 

I might add, she reached out to me and started this conversation but by the end I was the one who messaged her...boggles the mind! 

She is Black text, I am Blue text. (Text/email between the "partner" and me) _____________________________________________________________

If there’s anything you’d like to say, you’re more than welcome to respond to me  At this point in time, Ashley has no desire to have any type of communication with you, which is unfortunately why she has not responded to your contact attempts.

I however, am trying to help you fix things. So my inbox is open  

As you said; we don’t want any “3rd party bullshit” so I figured I’d come directly to the source  

-Monique   

Im not interested.  

Nothing is broke on this end. Mike concurs with me. And he mentally can’t handle this like u say Ashley cant. So as I told Ashley n I will now relay to you, best wishes. I wish none of u ill will. But we have to much going on in this year n last year’s issues will not interfere. So thank u but no thank you. When Ashley is ready to talk to us, Mike or me, we will be open. Until then, no worries. Yall r good where u are. As we are. 

"This" is you, Danielle.

You said horrible things to both of us. Because of your actions, Ashley doesn't want anything to do with you.

I, ME, was trying to extend an olive branch. Unsurprisingly you are not willing to set your pride aside to fix things for Ashley. I can't say I'm surprised.

You won't get the same Olive branch from Ashley.  

Leaving her a voicemail saying she needs to fix things, is incorrect. 

None of this is on Ashley. 

100% of this is on you. 

This is 100% your fault & your actions. Which I was willing to discuss; put to the side and move past - for Ashley's sake. 

You are a disappointment of a mother to not be able to be an adult & fix your issues for your child. This is not Ashley's responsibility. It's yours. 

Im not talking to u about Ashley Moe. No matter what I do it's none of ur business.  

You aren't talking to Ashley about Ashley either. She doesn't want to talk to you. Which is why she is ignoring you. Get a grip Danielle.  

Move on. There's nothing here for u guys. I know it's all my fault. Let it go already. We have. 

 "We have" You let go of your child that easily? You're disgusting  

"There's nothing here for you guys" 

I was unaware that Mike wasn't there for Ashley. 

I'm not keeping Mike & Ashley apart. 

You are. 

And I'm trying to fix that. 

Why do you want to be a wall between them? That's her dad. 

Bye Moe. Done. Just go. U r a nobody who knows nothing about me. And never will.

 I know that you hurt Ashley & I. And that you've taken not accountability for it. Nor have you apologized or tried to fix things with Ashley.

I am trying to fix things. Which should be your responsibility.

Is there a reason you're trying to keep Mike from Ashley? And why you're making this difficult?

To me; it seems like you have too much pride to admit that you're wrong & you did wrong to Ashley. Rather than owning it & fixing it. You're just disregarding it & writing Ashley off. Ashley mean more to me than that; I'm it's disgusting that you're able to try & write her off like that.  

You're a disappointment of a mother. 

I’m not. Him n I both agreed that we would not use 3rd parties. Either of our girls reach out to us individually wanting to settle stuff we r game. I’m sorry u see it different.  It’s not meant to hurt anyone. It’s meant to take out the noise Moe.  

The only way you're going to fix things with Ashleys. Is if things are fixed with me.

Which I'm trying to help you with, for Ashley.

It's unfortunate you're too prideful to fix things for your kid.

I understand why your children are no contact. You can't fix things with a narcissist. Enjoy your solitude Danielle.  

He hasn't responded to u bc he doesn't want to engage in that. That's all it is. Him nor I either one wish u n ash nothing but prosperity.  We do not need to sit here n call each other names. I do not want to do that. If u want to talk to me. I’m game for that. But not Mike n Ash if we need to rectify a situation.  

“Either of our girls reach out to us individually"

"We agreed no 3rd parties"

Yet here you are, messaging me- in his stead.

Gotcha gotcha gotcha.

Danielle. Bye      

You've missed your shot for an olive branch. Girl bye  

I’m not prideful, nor am I ashamed of anything other than saying things better left unsaid bf. I want ash n Mike to have a relationship.  Im sorry u see me as holding him back from that. But it’s kinda like what u just said...Ashley don't want to talk to me, he doesn't want to talk to u. I bowed out. I would not have called her if it didn't effect Mike visibly earlier today.  

I told him I wasn't interested but he could do whatever he wants. That's all I said. Then when u texted today...I said didn't u tell them I can’t meet. Bc I have surgery coming up n tomorrow is my consult. This again is no big deal. But for reason u r attacking me

Oh yes. Poor Danielle is the victim & being attacked. Same old story.   

Whatever Danielle.

Some people just don't change. Can't say I didn't try lmao. Girl BYE    

I was trying to help YOU fix the shit YOU did. And you flushed the chance down the toilet. 

Sounds good