Birthday wishes

First, Thank you each and everyone who reached out and gave me a Birthday shout out! It is really humbling to see so many who do that! I think I had like 500+. To me thats insane! But thanks guys. You sure know how to make a person feel loved!

And as most of you know this family of mine is my archilles heel (or hell). Heard from ALL my family that matters except two. Three actually. But one was prompted to do so and did not say it at all when she called. But my granddaughter wished me a happy birthday and I love her very much! What a beautiful child she is. 

Got 2 beautiful birthday cards from my dad (whoot whoot). He is my bff after all!  And my extra mom. She gave me a card I cried over actually! 

I think back to when I was her worst critic and never gave her room for comfort within my presence. And I am so glad she and I got over that a few years ago. We sat down and talked it out. I mean all of it. The good, the bad, the ugly! All laid out for us to go over and try and move forward. And now, its like she has been that person I was not allowing in because of my own illogical thought processes during those years. I am so glad I have her now. I have come to appreciate her quirks, and love her in more ways than I even thought I could! I mean guys...we did not get a long at all back in the day! We have come so far and I finally feel as she has become a strong support system for me. For that I thank her so much. She did not have to ever put her time and energy into me, I literally gave her no reason to...but she did! She never gave up on me. And I am so glad she did not. 

I however, did NOT hear from my "bio" mom. Its so funny because people are like, "you have the best mom! She is so sweet and friendly!". Maybe she is or maybe she isnt. I would not know this. She isnt that person to me. She was for a brief moment when she was sick in like 2018,19, and 20. And her and the baby sister were at odds. She had no one else to lean on really. So I stepped in and did what I could. But I know I was just a subsitute. I always have been. She proves it to me all the time. 

Anyway, her and baby sister made up finally and they started getting reaquainted after all their issues were resolved and I was moved to the back burner, again. Thats ok. So use to it by this age. 

I love my mom very much. I just hate that she has always been able to just sacrafice me and my sister Angie, so callously ALL THE TIME. And we have allowed it. Really. We do not hold her accountable for all she has said and done about us. Angie said she did not reach out to her for her birthday this year either. But I see she will reach out to all the cousins, niece's, nephews, etc. She has to save face I suppose! 

My moms favorite niece and I share a birthday! I bet you 1000% she wished her a happy birthday! That niece and I have always been close. Or at least I thought we had. UNTIL recently. At a funeral. She was so standoffish towards me and she HAS NEVER been that way. So Im patiently waiting. I am sure it will come around at some point what I have or havent done that has bothered them to this extent. 

But I am here to tell anyone reading this...things do not get resolved by sitting silently. And it will not stop the publication of my book. So if you want to add in your own "words", please feel free to reach out. My email is listed in this blog. 

But anyways, just a pure disappointment all the way around! 

BUT YOU GUYS...the ones who reach out via this Blog. You have all been amazing!!!! The support you are showing me is so encouraging to say the least. Your letters and IMs about various topics is eye opening too. Believe me I have a lot of matrial in draft status. It will be coming soon.